How To Prepare: 11 Tips To Have An Awesome Anal Sex

Many of you may have your interest in anal sex, but at the same time you don't feel you have an adequate understanding about what is involved in the preparation process and how to have things go as smoothly and comfortably as possible. The following 11 tips will help you prepare for your future involvement with your partner.

1. Bowel Movement, the First Thing to Go

Your initial plan of action before partaking in anal sex, is ensuring that the receiving partner has relieved themselves of any waste products by using the toilet. Freeing up space in your anal cavity will prevent discomfort and the possibility of having an untimely bowel movement during anal play/sex.

As Dr.Rachael Ross stated in a Women's Health magazine, "Plainly and simply, if your anus is full of poop when you start anal, then there’s a chance of stooling during the activity."

Don't wind up in a stupor, relieve your pooper!

2. Diet - What You Put In Will Make It's Way Out

The biggest fear people have about anal sex is to get dirty. But if you have normal healthy bowel habits, you don't have to worry much about it.

For that, you have to understand how our bowel system works. When you eat, stomach breaks down food and is passed down to colon to get absorbed. Undigested food is stored as feces in last part of colon [sigmoid colon]. From there, it is moved on mass in rectum and we get urge to defecate. 

So normally, rectum is clean and empty between bowel motions. All you need to have is warm shower before play and gently cleaning around outside [Plus douche if you are that worried].

Here are couple of things you need to consider regarding diet before anal sex

  • Don't over think about diet and don't do drastic changes in your diet as it can upset your bowel. 
  • Keep your diet balanced
  • For a rectum cleansing, avoid high fiber foods the day before. A low fiber diet is made up of foods that are easily digested and absorbed, leaving a minimal residue in the bowel.
  • On the day of play, don't have heavy meals.
  • Avoid over processed foods

3. Anal Cleanliness - To Douch or Not To Douch

Have a relaxing bath or shower beforehand and thoroughly clean the area. How about gently shaving or waxing the skin between your butt cheeks? This will make you much more relaxed and confident.

​Anal Douche

Having anal sex without ensuring your back door is clean after a bowel movement, can lead to some problems, because unlike the vagina, the anal cavity is not self cleaning.

After a bowel movement, all of the fecal matter may not make its way completely out of the rectum, and taking extra precautions, like douching, is beneficial for both partners.

Anal douching prior to sexual activity can help ease partners stress about cleanliness. Due to the fact your rectum will be properly flushed after douching, both partners can rest assured there will be no messy mishaps.

To make using an anal douche less awkward and uncomfortable, here is a short video showing how to fill and use the douche.

4. Lube, Because It Just Makes Things Go Smoother

Lubrication is a necessity when it comes to anal sex, to help reduce friction and the potential for internal tearing, but understanding what type of lubrication to use is just as important.

Anal lubes are thicker than your typical lubes, to give you extra cushioning, while also lasting longer. Best anal lubes come in either silicone or water based formulas. Water based lubes are safe to use with condoms, as well as any toys you may want to use but, they dry out quickly hence reapplication is necessary.

Silicone lube on the other hand are slick, slippery and last much longer than any other lubes but can't be used with silicone toys.

If you don't want to use commercial lubes, try coconut oil as natural lube.

Using the lube is as simple as applying it directly onto your partner or toy before you start to play, there is no need to be sparing here.

I'd also like to mention that desensitizing lubrication is not recommended for anal play, because if you are taking the precursory steps before getting down to business, there should be almost no pain.

If you are new to anal play, desensitizing yourself to what you are actually feeling could result in injury that you will not be aware of until later on.

Condom use is also highly advised with anal sex to prevent disease,because HPV as well as an other STI or STD(including HIV, Chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, etc) can be transmitted through anal sex. Take the few extra steps to ensure your play time stays fun and safe.

5. Relax Your Anal Muscles

When it comes to relaxing for anal sex, it is just as much about the state of your mind as it is about the physical ability of your body. Regardless of what kind of physical activity you are doing, proper breathing techniques are always beneficial to help keep your mind and body functioning in unity.

There are two rings of muscles around your anus, external sphincter and internal sphincter. The outer one (first one you can feel when you insert finger) is easier to relax and squeezes whenever you want.

Inner sphincter is about one and half inch inside (you can feel it when you insert finger inside and press against wall) and this one is a lot harder control. It reflects and responds to fear and anxiety during anal sex.

First thing to do is to breathe. Taking deep breath helps relax anal muscles while holding breath has apposite effect. Keeping your mind relax and breathing will help to have enjoyable anal sex.

6. Practice on Yourself Initially

Any good way to prepare yourself is through practice. Doing this by yourself, where you can take your time learning about your own body and how you react to different types of touch and play, before introducing your partner, can help you feel more relax and better prepared when it comes to being intimate with someone.

Using your Fingers

  • ​Apply some lube on your finger and slowly try to insert it.
  • Initially you will feel resistance, that's your outer sphincter. Once inside, keep finger there for a minute.  You will notice that it won't feel tense anymore. 
  • Remove your finger and do it again for couple of times.
  • Next, insert your finger deeper this time, about 1-2 inch inside. This time your will feel resistance from your inner sphincter.
  • Again keep your finger there for a minute and remove it. 
  • Keep practicing this technique and eventually you will feel less resistance.

Using Butt Plugs

  • ​Once you are comfortable with finger, you should introduce butt plug. 
  • Butt plug is a sex toy that will help you loosen up your anus.
  • They come in various shapes and sizes.
  • You should start with a small size and gradually introduce bigger one.

7. Using Anal Beads and Vibrators

Anal beads and vibrators are other sexual toys to help initiate and enhance your anal play. They can be used for solo masturbation, or with your partner to enhance intercourse.

Anal beads

Let's start off talking about anal beads. This toy is a string of beads that are shaped from the smallest to the largest to help open you up progressively.

Anal beads are typically used by heterosexual couples to enhance vaginal intercourse, by creating stimulation and a tightening sensation all around the erogenous zones of the vagina and anus, which helps create more pleasure and a stronger orgasm or ejaculation (if used by a man in combination with solo or mutual masturbation) when removed gently just before climax.

Anal vibrators

They work on the same premise as anal beads, but they provide extra osculating and pulsating sensations to stimulate during anal play.

In this video there is a short explanation of how to properly use an anal vibrator, whether it be for solo masturbation or to enhance vaginal intercourse. Be sure to follow the same precautions with the anal vibrator as you would with any anal play: lubricate, communicate, relax and enjoy!

8. Plenty of Foreplay

Foreplay is as necessary a part of anal sex as it is of vaginal intercourse. Similar techniques can be used to arouse your partners anus the same way you would stimulate the penis or vagina.

Rimming or analingus is an anal foreplay technique involving licking the anus and/or inserting a stiff tongue and thrusting like a penis. If preferred, you can use cling wrap or a condom as a barrier (similar to a dental dam when performing cunnilingus).

Analingus stimulates the nerve ending in the anus and the feel good sensations help relax and excite your partner. Also, using fingers (for massaging and inserting), anal beads and anal vibrators are wonderful for warming your partner up for the main event!

9. Go Slow

Anal sex may be new to both you and your partner and it has a learning curve, so rushing is not a good idea!

There are a few key points to keep in mind to be consciously aware of yourself and your partner to make sure you go at a speed that works for you both.

First off you want to be sure that you're with a partner you feel comfortable with and that you trust. Knowing that you can voice your thoughts and feelings and that your partner will listen is vital to participating in anal sex.

After ensuring that you are clean, take as much time as you and your partner need to warm up, foreplay with fingers and toys is just as enjoyable as the main event and helps both partners relax and feel comfortable with communicating their boundaries.

Don't forget to lube, lube, lube!

10. Double Pleasure

One of the greatest things about being sexual with your partner is the variety of sexual activities you can do with each other!

You do not have to make the main focus of anal sex all about the anus.

Don't forget that your partner has many other erogenous zones that can be stimulated before or simultaneously with anal sex. Everyone's erogenous zones are different, so this adds to the fun of either talking about it with your partner or working your way along the body to find out!

By stimulating other sensitive areas of your partners body while engaging in anal sex, you will increase their pleasure and ultimately your own as well!

11. Positions

Lastly, I'd like to talk about four typical anal sex positions because everyone likes a little something different. Make sure you communicate with your partner about which position(s) work best for you both.

  • Missionary position
    consists of the receiving partner lying on their back, knees pulled to their chest with their feet supported by their partners shoulders.
  • Rear entry position
    The receiving partner laying on their stomach with a few firm pillows under their hip area to level out their body for entry.-
  • Receiver on top
    This is where the receiver straddles their partner and inserts his penis into his/her anus. This allows the receiver to control depth, speed, and angle.
  • The classic porn pose 
    Involves the receiver standing and bending over while their partner stands behind them for insertion.

Did you enjoy the list? I hope these tips will help you and your partner enjoy a new sexual experience that will ultimately bring you closer together. Please comment your thoughts on this information in the comment section below. If you found the information helpful please share it.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 3 comments
Brenda Perez

My bf want to do anal sex but I am terrify is there any advice you can give me to relax because of as right now I don’t feel like I will enjoy it at all


    I was the same way. But I had always desired anal sex. My partner and I started out by using his finger while in doggie style, oral or just done there playing with me. But I also during play with myself, would use my finger to play around. I also bought a beginners butt plugs kit to get use to being filled or having something in there. After awhile we tried and found it quite pleasuring and found out it was more my state of mind. Definitely take it slow and have patience.


I found that avoiding fibrous foods the day before, cleaning out with an enema, lots of lube, choosing a position that seems most comfortable, and then using a large bullet vibrator on myself while he’s in there makes it seem intimate. Not sure I’ll ever enjoy it, but he does. I’ve also had some occasional bleeding and/or hemorrhoids from it, so I would never do it without prepping and using a butt plug to relax. And lots of lube before and during. Also, I would never do it with anyone I don’t completely trust and feel completely comfortable with. This site is the best I’ve found with “how-to” information. Sorry I didn’t find it years ago when we were first experimenting. Lots of great information here.


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